To Be Or Not To Be?

I happened to read my horoscope for today when I opened my Yahoo page and here is what it has to say:

Nonstop activity keeps you extremely entertained today, whether you’re watching from the sidelines or you’re actively involved. If you do choose to hop into the middle of the action, you can sway the entire crowd and make a real difference — so consider rolling up your sleeves and diving in. You’ll have the energy you need to stick with it through to the end. Right now your diplomacy skills are only outmatched by your ability to charm the pants off of anyone.

~~o~~

I really hate myself for being of two minds over something specifically when it comes to work these days. Whenever I wake up and realizes that in a few more hours and I have to get ready for work, I always feel this urge to quit. Yup, you may say that it’s normal but probably not if it is just your second week doing the actual work. However there is a side of me that cries that I persevere in it more and that I can actually do it given the proper time to adjust. Actually I think I’m getting a hang of it already.

When I was working in an industrial park just near our place, I always wanted to have a job in Manila. Now I am starting to realize the value of proximity and accessibility. I wish to go back to that place, but in a better company that is. It is really tiresome to allot at least a total of five hours just to go to work and back.

I think I also can’t live up with the rules that are imposed on us. I actually have a rebellious spirit and the more rules you impose, the greater you kindle it. I may not deliberately break the rules but in my heart there is a growing despise for it which I think is worst than the former. Breaking the rules destroys your performance, records, and metrics; but the latter rottens your heart and destroys your spirit.

I don’t really believe in horoscopes. I think I need some time to think about this.

Time Traveller

When I was selected for Crabalita three years ago, someone asked me this question:

Kung maibabalik mo ang kahapon.. ibabaLik mo ba?

Life was much simpler then. I just graduated from college, passed my licensure exam, and just had my first job. In short, things in my life are all in its proper places. With that, I replied:

Nope. All I am today is because of my past.

After three years, I never thought I’ll answer that question differently. I dislike the person that I am today. A part of me pities myself for not living up to what I wanted to be. With all honesty, if I have the power to return to the past, I will return and choose my path differently.

Sadly, I don’t have that power. However, what I do have is the capability to change my future. Past mistakes and failures will remain to serve as lessons that will guide me in choosing my path. I just regret the time that was wasted for not doing things right the first time. Time is indeed gold. What a costly price I had to pay for that lesson.

May this day be the start of a new and wonderful things in my life.

Feed Wisely

I want to thank those people who still manages to visit my blog despite the fact that I am not as active as before. Since I am on dial-up connection, I am not allowed to go online in the morning until noon. The phone line is strictly for business use only during that period. Nowadays, I am asleep from late in the morning until 4pm and leaves the house for work at 6pm. So as you can see I only have barely two hours to go online. However, I promise to exert my best effort to still visit your blogs and to keep this blog regularly updated.

For now, I just want to share to you this very nice text message I received from a friend. It goes like this:

A man told his grandson: “A terrible fight is going on inside me - a fight between two wolves. One is evil which represents hate, anger, bitterness, arrogance, intolerance, and superiority. The other is good which represents joy, peace, love, tolerance, understanding, humility, kindness, and compassion. The same fight is going on inside you, inside every person too.”

Then the grandson asked: “Which wolf will win?”

The old man replied: “The one you feed.”

Sarong Banggi

Here is what Pepe Diokno has to say about the movie:

A few films leave you in your seat as the credits roll–and I’m not talking about the ones with outtakes and stuff. See, there are few movies that suck you into its world so deeply that when the movie ends you’re still in it, wanting more. “Sarong Banggi” is one of these movies. So first, let me tell you what “Sarong Banggi” means. It’s “One Night” in Bicolano. This title comes from a classic Bicolano song.

The film approximates the song in many ways. First, the story happens in one night–and it’s about two people meeting. Second, and more importantly, the film captures the rhythm of the song. It’s a lyrical movie–it’s an audio-visual poem.

“Sarong Banggi” follows a teenager named Nyoy on the eve of his birthday. To celebrate–or initiate him–whatever, his friends take him out to Manila to score. Their “contact” is a prostitute past her prime, named Melba. They realize this and bolt, but Nyoy somehow drifts back to her. He then spends the rest of the night with Melba, and discovers the world of sex, and a world he didn’t know he was a part of.

It would’ve been easy to exploit this story and make it into a cookie-cutter Seiko Films production. However, writer-director Emman de la Cruz handles this material with such care, that it becomes something unique. Yes, the film is paced slowly. No, there are no guns in this movie. Yes, there is sex. No, the sex is not “Y Tu Mama Tambien”-like. The film is beautiful for what it has and lacks.

The film’s slow pace allows you to see Manila in a different light. In “Sarong Banggi,” Manila becomes so beautiful–it’s almost like New York. The setting actually becomes part of the reason you don’t want to leave the world of the film. Manila, as captured through Miguel V. Fabie’s caring, loving eyes, is a symbol of life and home, and at the same time a symbol of isolation. That is cinematography–it isn’t merely making things look good, it’s conveying a message through visuals.

The slow pace also allows you to take in beautifully written characters. The audience gets to sit down with Melba, and see through her exterior. We also get to spend time with Nyoy, and explore his vulnerabilities. We probably don’t know people like Melba, or Nyoy, but we identify with them because we are given peeks into their souls.

Emman’s Melba is played wonderfully, of course, by Jacklyn Jose. She won this year’s Urian Best Actress prize for her performance in this film. There are movies when you can tell an actress becomes her role. A step higher than that is when an actress is able to develop her role. This happens when she is able to take simple cues in a script to create an arc for her character–Melba talks the same way at the start and end of the film, but Jacklyn Jose as Melba is a different woman at the end.

Again, there are no guns, no snakes, and the sex isn’t shown. But the film is great for what it has and what it doesn’t–restraint is something Filipino films need and “Sarong Banggi” has the right amount of it. It may not be for those of you who want every movie you see to be over-the-top. But then again, it’s about time you be open to different sides of cinema. There’s so much you can do with film other than make Toni Gonzaga and Sam Milby meet.

“Sarong Banggi” is both entertaining and unique. It’s worth your ticket money. Super says go see it!

Here is what I have to say about the movie:

I TOTALLY AGREE WITH PEPE. you can read his full article at inq7.net.

First Day Haaay…

Why do unfortunate events have to happen all at the same day?

Last night was my first day on product training. I didn’t want to leave a bad first impression to our new facilitator so I decided to leave our house at 6 ‘o clock for my 9pm shift. I intend to take a straight route to Lawton, take a jeep for Recto, then board the LRT2 for Gilmore. I thought three hours is more than enough for this.

The heavy downpour left Manila, particularly Lawton, flooded. There were a lot of stranded commuters, jeepneys were all full despite the fact that they are not moving due to heavy traffic. Bottom-line, I ended walking from Lawton to Recto and arrived 40 minutes late. Nice!

After the class, I decided to ride the MRT from Cubao to Baclaran. I was already waiting for the train when I remembered that I wasn’t able to logout via the biometrics. One bad impression is enough and I didn’t want to bother our trainor with issues of my attendance so I decided to go back and logout.

Today is another day of training. Wish me luck.

Ambilis ng Panahon

Welcome to the BER-months!

Ambilis talaga ng panahon. Ilang tulog na lang at makakarinig na naman tayong muli ng mga awiting pampasko. Magiging abala na naman tayo sa pamimili ng mga regalo para sa mga taong mahahalaga sa atin. Ang iba ay mamumroblema dahil panahon na naman ng gastusan. Sa ilang taon kong pagtatrabaho ay napatunayan kong ang kapaskuhan ang panahon na ang isang empleyado ay nakatatanggap ng malalaking halaga, ngunit ito din ang panahon na gumagastos ka ng malakihan. Ika nga, bawi lang.

Pero okay lang. Hindi lang naman pera ang nakakapagpasaya sa akin. Masaya akong nagbabalot ng mga regalong ibibigay ko sa aking mga inaanak at masayang nag-iisip ng ireregalo sa aking pamilya. Ilang tulog na lang, pasko na naman.

Ambilis talaga ng panahon. Kahapon ay nagtapos na ang unang bahagi ng training namin. Ipinagpapasalamat ko at napabilang ako sa klaseng iyon. Kakaiba ang bonding na nabuo sa amin. Nagkaroon pa nga kami ng pizza party noong tanghali at nagkayayaan pa na lumabas noong uwian. Sa isang linggo ay mahihiwalay na sa amin ang ilan sa aming mga nakasama. Maaring magkita pa kaming muli at maari din namang hindi na. Salamat sa isang masaya at makabuluhang pagsasama.